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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 3:30 am 
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I was hospitalized last night/ early hours of the morning for some deep wounds. Every time the ambulance is called police show up regardless because of my antics when I got tasered and the fact I am a violent person but all went smooth today. I managed to sneak a small disposable razor in my pocket. You know the ones that you get in a shaver. Anyway when I got to hospital I went to the toilet and locked the door and done some more cutting and made sure to make the place look like a crime scene. It took them ages to realize were I was and I could actually hear them talking about how I went missing because I was 5 feet away from them. I must have been in there for about 30 minutes before they realized, The blood had started to thicken up by the time they came. I was in hospital for about 9-10 hours you can imagine I was very tired when I got home.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 4:24 am 
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Be careful you don't fucking kill yourself man

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 4:47 am 
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Carcer City Hood wrote:
Be careful you don't fucking kill yourself man

A carpenter is only as good as his tools and I have a shitty razor it got blunt after the first couple cuts so most of them were not that deep but they were bleeders, I also removed all my bandages from my cutting a few hours earlier which added to it

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chan eil uallach air cuideigin a bhith a 'marbhadh mi air a mharbhadh
http://163.172.82.135/2018/04/83166_R_A ... 0bm_11.mp4


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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 10:11 pm 
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So why exactly are you cutting? Cry for help? Attention? Haunted by the past? Hate life and everything in it?

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:59 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:58 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:47 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 7:12 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2018 7:24 pm 
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I was walking to the gas station and I realized that the older I get the more I've been retreating into myself mentally and keeping my distance from the real outside world. I've never been one for having friends, in school I could usually count them on one hand. Since i graduated nearly a decade ago I haven't seen any of them. To me with each passing year (apart from the people on here) the idea of having friends is growing more and more like something I don't want or need. Even family, I keep telling myself if I ever find myself in a different living situation that I'm cutting ties with them all. Not sure why I feel this way but it's been getting worse.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2018 7:26 pm 
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wwinterj wrote:
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Why not try to have both? Date the mom and bang her daughter or vice versa. It could work lol.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2018 9:07 pm 
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Carcer City Hood wrote:
I was walking to the gas station and I realized that the older I get the more I've been retreating into myself mentally and keeping my distance from the real outside world. I've never been one for having friends, in school I could usually count them on one hand. Since i graduated nearly a decade ago I haven't seen any of them. To me with each passing year (apart from the people on here) the idea of having friends is growing more and more like something I don't want or need. Even family, I keep telling myself if I ever find myself in a different living situation that I'm cutting ties with them all. Not sure why I feel this way but it's been getting worse.

When I was in HS I was mostly involved in the "druggie" culture and those were my only friends. Of course when I stopped that lifestyle any form of friendship with them instantly was cut off. Back then I was sorta awkward and really self conscious and also blind as a bat because I refused to wear glasses which added to the awkwardness so imagine some social awkardness + being blind thrown in. Yeah school wasn't really pleasant for me lol. Now adays I just focus on bettering myself (body, mind, confidence and so on) and don't associate with anyone period, in the end all you have is YOU and nobody else will be there for you. Funny thing is I encountered one of these dudes from HS not too long ago and he was like damn dude you must be gettin laid alot more now. Guess he was implying I looked good, but the sad and ironic part is I haven't been with any females since I was in HS which has been years now.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 1:51 am 
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Carcer City Hood wrote:
Even family, I keep telling myself if I ever find myself in a different living situation that I'm cutting ties with them all. Not sure why I feel this way but it's been getting worse.


Family is one thing I do have. Only a small amount I think of as close family but I'd not be here without them. I don't see that changing. Even more so when my close siblings are around the same age as me thus I've p much always had them in my life and hopefully always will. I wouldn't want to lose another sibling. As for friends or whatever? Nope never had them. I've had acquaintances but that's it. As for GF's? Not since the age of around 10 so that's that.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if things would be different and I had "normal" things but wondering what if is pointless and there is a good chance things could have gone a whole lot worse in my life such as me not even growing up with my siblings. I guess the life I've been dealt makes me appreciate the "small" things more though and if I ever achieve normality in my life I'd like to believe I'd be a lot more grateful for it. If I never achieve those goals well I suppose none of it matters in death so I'll just die alone, miserable and jaded.

Carcer City Hood wrote:
Why not try to have both? Date the mom and bang her daughter or vice versa. It could work lol.


I'd just probably bang them both at the same time. I'm sure they would be ok with sharing.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 3:37 am 
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wwinterj wrote:
Carcer City Hood wrote:
Even family, I keep telling myself if I ever find myself in a different living situation that I'm cutting ties with them all. Not sure why I feel this way but it's been getting worse.


Family is one thing I do have. Only a small amount I think of as close family but I'd not be here without them. I don't see that changing. Even more so when my close siblings are around the same age as me thus I've p much always had them in my life and hopefully always will. I wouldn't want to lose another sibling. As for friends or whatever? Nope never had them. I've had acquaintances but that's it. As for GF's? Not since the age of around 10 so that's that.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if things would be different and I had "normal" things but wondering what if is pointless and there is a good chance things could have gone a whole lot worse in my life such as me not even growing up with my siblings. I guess the life I've been dealt makes me appreciate the "small" things more though and if I ever achieve normality in my life I'd like to believe I'd be a lot more grateful for it. If I never achieve those goals well I suppose none of it matters in death so I'll just die alone, miserable and jaded.

Carcer City Hood wrote:
Why not try to have both? Date the mom and bang her daughter or vice versa. It could work lol.


I'd just probably bang them both at the same time. I'm sure they would be ok with sharing.

I understand your attachment to your family that's totally cool, mine though just tear me down and shit when I see them so I have my reasons. Like my dad called me last week and basically gave me shit because he seen me walk into a alley and grilled me about what I was doing there. I told him I go there for fun and he said it was weird. The mom and daughter thing with those two would be awesome but highly unlikely.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 8:41 am 
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Carcer City Hood wrote:
I understand your attachment to your family that's totally cool, mine though just tear me down and shit when I see them so I have my reasons.


Yeah I've learned not to judge folk. I remember saying to a acquaintance of mine that I feel nothing for me mum and he said "you don't mean that," I was like "Yes I do" and he's like "loads say that but don't mean it" I said "and loads actually do" he looked confused. I normally see folk not get on with their dad but some woman should never have kids too. It's not that hard to believe.

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 Post subject: Re: Your Mood Today
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:45 pm 
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Sometimes family can be toxic, But that does necessarily mean you don't love and care about them. Sometimes in life, you just got to distance yourself from the negativity in order to create something positive for yourself. I understand this all too well.

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