As things stand if i believed in fate it would be in his hands, although in my corner. I forgot to get rid of a minor thing that could have DNA on it which would almost single handedly seal my fate but at this point I think I would have heard something about that and most likely remanded into custody. Without that it's my word against his and his word does not mean a whole lot and i am very confident.

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Trade your anger for evil.
Vote Jose A. Morales.
One Side.

"Evidence goes missing everyday along with judges, juries and witnesses" (Toni Cipirani GTA LCS)

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A Hood has taken over The Red Kings. Im the new leader of The Red Kings.

I have had about 10-12 panic attacks if I had to guess. At the time I genuinely thought it was a problem with my heart and I didn't listen to the GP that it could be anxiety disorder. So I know what it feels like it is pretty horrible. It all started when I was in high school and I was smoking weed at the time which greatly increased anything I was feeling. I never thought anxiety could effect a guy like me, in high school if I was to describe myself it would be the cool, quiet, mysterious guy. I was popular but never had any social media which added to the image I had, I stood for no shit and resort to violence at the drop of a hat to keep it that way but anyway what i am getting at is it can happen to anyone really. I do not know the cause of mine but it got to a point when i took my first panic attack and i felt like i got stabbed in the heart and i fainted(didn't know it was panic attack at this point) That is why i thought my heart was done for, felt like i really damaged it. I eventually realised that it was anxiety and the paranoia that would come with it. I used to think people could hear/read my mind on the bus and in class. Also just stupid things like I thought someone was robbing my house and went down and made a fool of myself in front of my mum. But I eventually stopped smoking weed(10 or so panic attacks later) and I decided I would cure it myself and to shorten the story this is what I came up with. The wolf is not scared of the sheep. It would be I was scared of having a conversation with a guy who I would have no problems hurting in a heartbeat and it just clicked why would I fear this guy or what he thinks, I am silently superior. Of Course this method only works if you truly are not a sheep. Just remember you can be silently confident, you dont need to be a big loud arsehole. Still to this day I have mild paranoia but I dont class it as a bad thing anymore, in certain situations I will always think of the worst thing that could happen which just prepares you and I always triple guess things. I am always aware and not easily lead, I am always looking for peoples ulterior motives and what they really want. Overall im not a very outgoing person pretty conserved which stops you from saying stuff you will regret and stop you acting like an idiot. You take stuff in that others would miss.

So yeah going to end it with a few cringey quotes that are along the lines of my method.
- Wolves don't lose sleep over opinions of sheep.
- The greatest fear in the world is the opinion of others, and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are in you are no longer a sheep.

_________________
Trade your anger for evil.
Vote Jose A. Morales.
One Side.

I've never smoked weed mostly cause i never found it very interesting. Never really hung with the crowd because i hated most of them. Didn't want friends in school and i was mostly deemed a psychopathic loner by the school due a few violent incidents. I didn't have personal internet till 2014 which was 4 years after so i never had social media and i still dont.

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A Hood has taken over The Red Kings. Im the new leader of The Red Kings.

I used to love weed really opened the mind but I know to stay away from it. While I was popular/well liked I had my own friends who I hung around with but I was never on the same wavelength if you know what I mean. I sometimes wonder if I wasnt well liked I would have found more like minded people but I will never know, the only thing I had in common with these guys were violence really. I pioneered a trend(at least among my friends at the time) where you would take a razor from a pencil sharpener and shake someone's hand and slash it haha seems like pathetic stuff nowadays. This thread isn't really about back stories so ill end that there but I'm glad to hear it, I instantly lose a little respect for people who have anything social media wise. People feel compelled to take photos, upload statuses, comment on other people photos reassuring them they look good and all types of pathetic stuff. Craving the attention and acceptance of others It's a joke really.

_________________
Trade your anger for evil.
Vote Jose A. Morales.
One Side.

Wow that's a lot.



I've never touched the stuff. Doubt I ever will.




Before I just thought it's all in someones head and that mental disorders should be easy to control being as it's all just a thought process. I certainly didn't know so many physical symptoms can spawn from it and how real they feel. I guess you don't really fully understand something until you've been through it. That's why even GP's don't have any idea what it's about. My GP even asked me if I have had suicidal thoughts in a serious manor despite me telling him I fear death. Go figure.

I've actually booked myself on this worry and anxiety course today that starts at the end of next month. It might not help as I assume it's just talking about coping with it and all that but it's better than nothing and at least the feedback from it can go to my GP and they may start taking it seriously. Plus I suppose talking with folk who have it or even just listening may help. Only time will tell.



It effects folk differently sure. I've never fainted from it. Just heart palpation's, difficulty breathing and a tight chest when I had my panic attacks. I still get those now but don't panic as much as I just push through.




I think fearing the worse is my problem. Any bit of pain I get I think of the worse case scenario(normally death) and think I'm done for. I try to not think about it too much but maybe I should just let whatever happens (probably nothing) happen. The only break I seem to get is if I'm intoxicated.

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Your arms are just too short to box with God.

It seems like you already know this, but GPs don't know shit. I guess it could be different in England, but I doubt it. I've never met a GP that came to a right conclusion, or knew what they were talking about. I've been given the wrong meds by them, went to them for months asking for a reference to a specialist because they wouldn't believe me, been berated by them for something they did wrong, and they nearly killed my father by giving the wrong meds. Always go to a specialist.

Anyway, work pisses me off. Always.

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One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way.

[b][/b]

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I would if I wasn't broke.
That brings me to my next point.
- Being broke - Gotta get myself some hooker money or rape the next door neighbours oldest daughter. Maybe both.

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Your arms are just too short to box with God.

Well,guess I'm screwed...

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Ehh not really, i don't hate you for your grammar. I hate you for a few things you said around the time you joined.

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Im around six foot tall which i believe is decent height, i usually go bald in the summer. People who try to make problems for other people just cause they don't like the way they live or thier hobbies annoys me. So what if id rather spend my days playing games and doing whatever i want instead of working? So what if i hangout in alleyways or in parks instead of go get drunk at a party? People should mind thier own fucking business and quit trying to change people into what they want the other person to be!

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A Hood has taken over The Red Kings. Im the new leader of The Red Kings.

I know right?! I regret making those damn posts...Thank god i've changed...

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Nah.. it was something specific you said, about a certain game and its iconic protagonist whom i very much respect and relate to.

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Is it the Watch_Dogs thing? Didn't say the game was bad though,just said the E3 looked better...In fact,I haven't even played the game,so how should I know?!(though I heard the reviews of the game) Or is it the Hitman series being underrated?(I love the series as well)

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